The Boy Vacation

She had not known the weight until she had felt the freedom...

For over a month now, I've been on what I have deemed, "The Boy Vacation."  No, that does not mean that I went on a vacation to solely scope out men. (Even though that sounds fun!)  It's quite the opposite actually.  I am staying away from the opposite sex.  Well, okay, not entirely.  Friendship-only relationships are fine, but it can't be anything more than that.  It's been tough, but so worth it.

It's time that you give yourself what you deserve.  Like, actually deserve.  For SO LONG, I was wasting my time.  I ended up "liking" whoever liked me.  I just liked to be liked.  It's sad when you think about it, isn't it?  I wanted the whole picture perfect relationship.  I just wanted everyone to believe that my life was so great.  But it wasn't.  I lived a life of misery; feeling incomplete just because I wanted someone to complete me. 

Well, one day, I got sick of it.  I realized that I needed to only worry about two things:  myself and God.  That's what was going to make me whole.  What's the point of having a relationship where you've settled, aren't happy, and are probably getting treated badly, when you can focus on giving yourself what you deserve, making yourself happy, and treating yourself with the utmost respect?

This time has allowed me to grow in ways I never thought possible.  I know what I want and I'm not afraid to voice my opinions.  I no longer care about what others want me to do or what they think of me.  I've been able to prioritize and organize my life, and really figure out the kind of people I want to be part of it. 

Don't get me wrong, I still love boys, and this vacation isn't forever.  It's just time that I needed to allot for myself; time that I wasn't giving to myself otherwise.  I was talking to my therapist the other day, and she said, "Alexis, you have ZERO space in your life for negative people.  Cut it out."  And that's what I'm doing. 

I still have my bad days.  I still have my days where I don't want to get out of bed.  But guess what?  That's okay.  I'm a work in progress.  The good thing is that when I'm having these bad moments, I know that it's not dependent on someone else ruining my day.  It's me.  I don't want anyone to have enough power over me that they can change my mood like that.  With this vacation, (I still can't believe I called it that), I've taken all the control and the power back.  And let me tell ya, it feels good. 

If you feel as though you've ever has these kinds of experiences, please think about taking a little "time out."  You'll thank me later!  Feel free to ask me questions, as well.  I'm an open book and love to help others whenever I can.  My email is lextherapy@gmail.com.


xx,
Lex