Life is so interesting.
Sometimes it’s easy – other times, not so much. Lately, my life has been a lot of the
latter. I’ve always been the kind of
person who hates asking for help. For
almost my entire life, I was always the one who had it together. I knew what I wanted to do in life and I knew
how I was going to get there; nothing was going to stand in my way. Although I’m still a girl with plenty of
ambition, I don’t have it all together.
For the past couple of weeks I’ve been experiencing intense anxiety and
depression. It has completely disrupted
my life. I have no desire to get out of
bed in the morning; I cry when I have to leave my house; and just when I think
I’ve got my feet planted firmly on the ground, I begin to cringe about waking
up the next day. For a really long time
I thought that this was just a stage I was going through – thought that it
would pass and that I was just throwing myself a pity party. But as time went on, I realized that this was
not the case. I’ve been to this place
before and I had arrived at it again – this time, much worse. It took a
lot of strength and courage for me to finally open up to my parents and ask
for help. I’ve started seeing a
therapist; and even after just two sessions, I can already tell the difference
in my attitude. I am positive that one
day (hopefully soon), I will be able to be myself again, but it is going to
take some time. I have always been a
great actress – I smile and say that “I’m fine,” but it’s time that I put
myself first and stop lying to everyone, myself included. In no way am I looking for anyone to shower
me with attention, nor am I really looking for anyone’s support, I just felt
that it was necessary for me to be honest about what I’m going through. For those of you who have ever felt this way,
I highly encourage you to reach out to a loved one for help – if you need
someone, then I am here with a great pair of ears for listening. You’re not alone.
I cannot stress enough how great it feels to finally be on
this journey, and I am so excited for it!
No worries, I’ll still be writing J
xx,
Lex
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